Revisiting the Past

It's cute to review what I wrote in the past ... I'm glad I kept this site up. The me of 10 years past was surely a different person.

Konjiki no Gash Bell rocks!! Don't say it ain't.

Blog Moved

Out of extreme boredom, I preoccupied myself lately with creating a brand new blog - a more professional and personal site. Still haven't gotten around to designing the theme for the blog yet, nor have I planned how the content is gonna be laid out, but, well, the blog part of it is functioning.

Visit it at http://cardinal4.byethost2.com.
Yep. It's the same place as my tech blog. I decided to merge both of them together. The personal blog was getting too mindless, while the tech blog was getting very too ... erm, well I don't like it anyhow.

This blog design was nice while it lasted though - very colourful and anime-ish. I want my new blog to be just as anime-ish. =D

Konjiki no Gash Bell rocks!! Don't say it ain't.

Blogging

Hardly feel like blogging nowadays. Lack of interest, time and content. There isn't much time for introspection. Every thing is just assigned a simple, "I am at wrong, but that was a good lesson; I will try again next time".

When life is moving at a hyper pace, and your physical and mental endurance are stretched, you really don't think of the past, but the present and future. The present is where you suffer, the future is where you hope. The past? For lessons learnt that ought not to be repeated.

On a sidenote, it's pretty interesting how I suddenly hear new tunes and melodies playing in the background of sounds I'm very familiar with. The music sounds so refreshingly crisp, like I had brand new stereo speakers or something. [In fact, I have a mono speaker, since one side spoiled.] The magic of outfield camping and NS life. After days of singing army songs, especially when singing one single song for a 4km route march continously, music is like .... well, music to my ears. I wish I could play my guitar too, but .... the strings broke. The strings keep breaking, even the new ones. Just one week of changing and they broke. I've ran out of back-up strings, so I can't play anything. Sian...

Konjiki no Gash Bell rocks!! Don't say it ain't.

Simple pleasures of life

2 half-days, 1 full day - that's just about how much time i have. Coming back from camp, the one thing i want to do the most is ..... to sleep. That's the prized relaxation i yearn for in a bookout. If I get guard duty and miss a good day's sleep as a result, i'll be really pissed. Just as i got last night, when my hacking cough stopped me from getting my rest. I was like, fuming at midnight, lolz, just pacing around, willing myself to stop coughing.

Sleep, and a good shower. A long, warm shower. And to eat in peace. It's just that being deprived of such things for 5 days in the army, such simple acts suddenly become so desirable. Home never felt so good before.

And very soon, the break will be over, and i'll get back in for another round of training. The training's already starting to plateau, while we haven't. Less suffering, more camaraderie. Of course, there remains some stuff that just keeps upping the difficulty level. But more or less, it's getting easier to cope with. It's kinda amusing to see how much my own attitude regarding NS life has changed in a few short weeks. There has never been a better time to serve NS. =D Other than next year.

Konjiki no Gash Bell rocks!! Don't say it ain't.

To do? What?

I'm very confused lately about exactly what do i want to do with my life. About what i want to do with my time. About what i want to do about opportunities, what i should really pursue.

It's like life is on a standstill. I can't do anything at all! Nothing at all that can have any effect other than just temporary blinding myself out of reality. Life is terrible outside.

I wish i had something to do. Something to watch. I wish I was given a tasklist of things to do, 'cause i feel like i'm drifting aimlessly, wasting away precious time. Arg!!!

Konjiki no Gash Bell rocks!! Don't say it ain't.

Book out

More or less, got about a day and a half to sort things out. To do the stuff that needed doing as a NS man. To relax like an anime otaku. And to just keep track of current events and read the copies of Newsweek that just keeps piling up. I really can't finish it. The copy from a week back, I'm just slightly halfway through it. XD This further justifies the fact that I do not need a further Times subscription, despite its ownage SAF special subscription rate and Britannica super mini encyclopedias that are just so ... bookish, lolz.

I found a Deathly Hallows on my table when I came back. I'd really forgotten how captivating Harry Potter was. I wonder when I'll get around to reading it.

Time passes so fast outside. It feels so hurried. But at the same time, i still managed to finish what i managed to do and some more. So i guess it's not really that short a break after all.

Against all my expectations, I managed to remain relatively Pes B-ish. I had the notion that I will be below par because of my close brush with Pes C, but unexpectedly I was feeling great. Nothing whatsoever. The only major problem I had was a day-long flu. Almost wanted to report sick, but I endured on, and it got much better now. Hurray for zero-sick record for the first week!

It's looking good. Though I really should have passed that NAPFA earlier, 'cause I could for my IPPT even after 2 weeks of inactivity before NS...

Konjiki no Gash Bell rocks!! Don't say it ain't.

Wasted

3 weeks may seem like a really long period, but it can all disappear really quickly. I wasted most of it away.. Perhaps about 7 days of it were actually worth it. The pre-prom, the prom, cls outing, and the amazing tie purchase adventure that ended up being a COD2 game session cum chi chess. =D And some miscellaneous days where the total pigging out on entertainment and gaming was justified, 'cause it's a holiday and all.

But beyond that, the rest were totally wasted. Nothing was done... what i planned to do wasn't done... I gamed so much that it wasn't even fun anymore... I was just frantically trying to find something else to do, something that didn't really need any brains to do. Also didn't do some things that i should have - that i'm going to regret for quite some time.

Someone asked if i had a life goal. I was caught off guard on that one, since i had none. It'd never come to my mind before. I have principles, morals, project goals, but not life goals.

I guess ... I'd never really thought about life beyond school. School has always been such a wonderful thing. Work's manageable; even if you fail at it, there's always backup ;) There's plenty of time for leisure stuff, even in the midst of examinations. You can do what you want, pursue hobbies, i dun noe, lead the life of retirement, except that you're at the wrong age and time. There's plenty of social interaction, of a group of friends whom you work, play and chat together, and people that you recognise around. Familiar buildings, static environment, linear pathways, fixed routines. Everything is so predictable that you can just breeze through it and focus on the things that really matter to you. I say that cause I always plan too much about anything and everything. In my case, random is hell, that is, if the consequences are significant.

Well, no life goals. But it sucks that i can't follow the rest of my goals half the time. I wanted to be productive, to do something that matters, and not just gaming. Gaming is for fun, for thrills. Like anything is going to come out of gaming. I wanted to program, to learn, to do something that i can reuse in the future. Something that doesn't necessarily have to be utilitarian but is uniquely mine. Which is basically what web design/game programming is about. Producing neat stuff out of nothing. Kinda like wood-craft/moulding/DIY construction/culinary except that you don't need any materials at all. Just your brain, bit of creativity, and a computer.

4 more days and i'll have to start remembering new names and faces again.. I should write up a list somewhere to mark the things i oughta do, before and after enlistment. =0

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Konjiki no Gash!!! is ending!!! The King's been decided; there was never a doubt who would win. Now, just some loose ends to tie up and the manga will end. Haiz...

Konjiki no Gash Bell rocks!! Don't say it ain't.