Wasted

3 weeks may seem like a really long period, but it can all disappear really quickly. I wasted most of it away.. Perhaps about 7 days of it were actually worth it. The pre-prom, the prom, cls outing, and the amazing tie purchase adventure that ended up being a COD2 game session cum chi chess. =D And some miscellaneous days where the total pigging out on entertainment and gaming was justified, 'cause it's a holiday and all.

But beyond that, the rest were totally wasted. Nothing was done... what i planned to do wasn't done... I gamed so much that it wasn't even fun anymore... I was just frantically trying to find something else to do, something that didn't really need any brains to do. Also didn't do some things that i should have - that i'm going to regret for quite some time.

Someone asked if i had a life goal. I was caught off guard on that one, since i had none. It'd never come to my mind before. I have principles, morals, project goals, but not life goals.

I guess ... I'd never really thought about life beyond school. School has always been such a wonderful thing. Work's manageable; even if you fail at it, there's always backup ;) There's plenty of time for leisure stuff, even in the midst of examinations. You can do what you want, pursue hobbies, i dun noe, lead the life of retirement, except that you're at the wrong age and time. There's plenty of social interaction, of a group of friends whom you work, play and chat together, and people that you recognise around. Familiar buildings, static environment, linear pathways, fixed routines. Everything is so predictable that you can just breeze through it and focus on the things that really matter to you. I say that cause I always plan too much about anything and everything. In my case, random is hell, that is, if the consequences are significant.

Well, no life goals. But it sucks that i can't follow the rest of my goals half the time. I wanted to be productive, to do something that matters, and not just gaming. Gaming is for fun, for thrills. Like anything is going to come out of gaming. I wanted to program, to learn, to do something that i can reuse in the future. Something that doesn't necessarily have to be utilitarian but is uniquely mine. Which is basically what web design/game programming is about. Producing neat stuff out of nothing. Kinda like wood-craft/moulding/DIY construction/culinary except that you don't need any materials at all. Just your brain, bit of creativity, and a computer.

4 more days and i'll have to start remembering new names and faces again.. I should write up a list somewhere to mark the things i oughta do, before and after enlistment. =0

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Konjiki no Gash!!! is ending!!! The King's been decided; there was never a doubt who would win. Now, just some loose ends to tie up and the manga will end. Haiz...

Konjiki no Gash Bell rocks!! Don't say it ain't.